What I’m really psyched about is this app I found called WPtoGo. It allows you to post to WordPress blogs like this one. I can view and edit older posts, view and review comments, and it even has some basic formatting tools.

So maybe I can post just a little more often on the personal blog, eh? We’ll see. Maybe write some more of my idle thoughts. I’ve worked very hard to tone the emo down, and it has become easier as I work through my divorce and find out who I really am. I believe I’ve made some great strides. I am a much different person than the man who struggled with self-hate and loathing, blaming himself for his cheating wife, unable to truly put the blame where it truly lied and wash his hands of it.

I lost a lot of friends along the way: those who hate me for who I was, and those who drop my various social network friendships for being tired of hearing my depressed rants and avoid me in person. It is unlikely I’ll get either group of people back, but in the end, I can only rely on myself.

So, we’ll see.

I spent the majority of today finishing the new designs on the websites.  I found two new themes that I was absolutely enthralled with, and have been tweaking non-stop.  Made some internal changes, ditched the guestbook over at Spheric which was just collecting dust, and rolled out the new designs today.  Comment, give me your opinions!

Throughout that time, just thinking about life in general.  I wrote a goodbye letter to Dewi.  People may hate me, but I did literally everything I could to save my marriage.  Unfortunately, she simply didn’t want the same thing since the day we were married, and lied and cheated the whole time.  Well, she finally gave me an explanation on Christmas Eve.  She said, and I quote.  “Cheating is in my nature.  It is who I am.  YOU wouldn’t let me sleep with anyone else.  There are men out there who are okay with that.”

First off, you’re damn right I wasn’t okay with it.  If it looked like you were going to be a whore before I married you, I wouldn’t have.  But you showed me the image of loyalty and love.  And second off, whether I was okay with it or not, was irrelevant, wasn’t it?  Because you did it anyways.  I’m just glad she got used and tossed aside like the slut she is.  It makes me feel a lot better.  I treated her better than that.  I was not perfect, but I never did anything to her that was worse than what she did to me.

I also spent today chatting.  Mostly with Tianna and Savannah.  Tianna gave me some input on the site (thanks hon!) and we chatted about the most random things to enter her head (as usual.) 

Savannah and I are moving on plans for her to come visit me!  I’m so very excited.  My time in California was the happiest time of my life since my wife left me, and nothing has matched it since.  Next week, I’m going to purchase tickets for Savannah to come out and stay with me for a while.  It’s the best thing to happen to me since then.  I ran it past my roommates, so everything’s in the clear.

I’m also saving up time to go back to California.  My buddy Scott, the ever-famous Dragon Starraiser, is getting married!  And to an AWESOME woman, I might add.  Kass and I got along splendidly.  It’s always great when your good buddies get with someone you enjoy spending time with.  Then you don’t have to compete! LOL!

Hey Scott, if you read this, let me know some dates, eh?  I wanna get it all off in advance!

And an update on a possible move to California:  I just want everyone to know that a move to California is still in my future thoughts.  It isn’t the first and foremost plan.  My resume is online, and sent to a few places, but I love the job where I’m at, and it is good money.  Plus, the job market in California… well… sucks ass?  So, unless some kind of uber job comes along, I’m not actively pursuing a job at this time.  If something comes up, I’ll investigate, but I think it might be a year or two before I consider seriously planning for a job change to Sacramento.

One final note:  As you asked, Amanda, I didn’t call you yesterday.  I hope your head feels better!  (You said you were gonna take a lot of aspirin before bed, so let me know how that went!)  I’ll call you tonight after I get home from the gym.