The episode, from a rhetorical standpoint, is amazing in the number of controversial issues tackled here: race, sex, violence, hatred, and links to teen suicide.  They do not all play a major role in the story, but the show makes a nod to each one.  If you analyze it long enough, the show seems to claim that people blow these aspects way out of proportion when using them as a basis to condemn D&D gameplay.

The first reference to race comes when a comical Chang paints his skin black and dons a silver wig, to which Shirley says, “So, we’re just gonna ignore that hate crime, huh?” not realizing that he was emulating an elven race in the game known as the drow.  The second comes when the group finds a tavern populated with “beleaguered gnomes” and Brita tries to speak to them.  In Abed’s game, there seems to be a caste system where these gnomes are very far on the bottom.  This leads to an interesting discussion in which Brita is telling the gnome that he should treat her as an equal, and Abed, as the Dungeon Master, role-plays the gnome’s dismay at such an idea.

Sex is approached briefly when Abed is roleplaying the woman from whom the group is trying to procure flying Pegasi (I stand by my pluralization of Pegasus).  Abed has the elf maiden flirt with Jeff’s character. He then encourages Jeff to respond in kind, which makes Jeff uncomfortable.  I thought that this was interesting.  The show makes a point to demonstrate that while role-play is the name of the game, it is still difficult for someone to engage in “real” activity dissimilar from his or her personality.  (I define “real” activity as activity that could reasonably be experienced outside the game; smiting undead with flaming sword of justice does not count, sexual innuendo does.)  Of course, that same argument poses interesting questions for Annie, who, roleplaying as “Hector the Well-Endowed,” apparently did a very good job bedding the Pegasi maiden. 

On a side note, some people may start screaming either “homophobe” or that it encourages “men to sexually role-play together,” but I disagree with both.  There is nothing wrong with feeling uncomfortable with a situation outside your comfort zone.  There is a difference between supporting gay men and receiving advances from them.  More experienced players may be able to perform this kind of acting as part of the game, knowing the difference between acting and real life, but Jeff Winger exhibited just the kind of behavior I would expect out of a new player in that situation.

The game also approached a difficult topic to broach even with longtime players of the game: PC death.  These characters often take a lot of time and investment over months or years of gaming to achieve the status they have.  A naked man with a sword suddenly decapitating you with a critical hit (as was the case in this episode) is not how you want to end that story.  I like how they contrasted how “into” the game Chang was with the long amount of game time Neil had spent with his own character.  If Chang can get slightly upset when his character died in the first session, imagine how other players can feel about their own characters!

One thing I briefly touched on at the beginning was the link to suicide here.  While some feel that the show tainted the game by mentioning suicide side-by-side with D&D, I find that they did a fantastic job of not only showing how D&D was not the cause of the young man’s depressed mood, but that it helped Neil out in several unexpected ways.  When Pierce appeared on the road without clothes, Neil was the one who stepped up and offered his cloak.  When Pierce immobilized the party, Neil spoke out against their enemy, pitying him for his actions.  At the end, Neil thanked—thanked!—Pierce for his part in the “best game I ever played in my life.” 

Narrator: And so it was that Pierce Hawthorne saved the life of Fat Neil.

In the end, both the good guys and the bad guys played their part in a fun adventure that encouraged the group to play together.  The episode did a good job of describing the game, and used no special effects whatsoever—you see what D&D players see, a group of people sitting around a table.  In addition, when the party really gets into it, they have an exciting time.  Below is a picture of the party’s reaction when Neil needed a roll of at least 18 to defeat Pierce. He got a 19.

This episode of Community did well by me in portraying D&D.  It showed the difficult topics that can appear in the game, such as sex, racism, and death.  It showed the way sometimes in-game spats can leak to out of the game and vice versa.  It also showed that the majority of these issues had actually little to do with the story, and that they are not specifically necessary.  (The party going “Who cares!” when Brita was worried about the gnomes state of life was funny.)  The point was, the game only has in it what the group playing wants to be in it.  Don’t want demons?  Fine.  No sexual situations? That’s cool too.  (I, for one, do not use sex in my DM’d games, and that the show played it up for comedic effect.)  I believe that it addressed many of the complaints against Dungeons and Dragons and proved them for what they are: blown out of proportion.

PS: Some people were put off by the relentless whining by Pierce and his constant berating of Neil throughout the episode.  I’d like to volunteer that I believe they did that on purpose, to show what it looks like for people to be hated for something they cannot control, and it is them who drive the depression and suicide and the circle of hatred.

Whether you like the system, or hate the system, it bodes well from a business standpoint.  The old rules will persist for all time; no one would be forced to accept the new rules.  Third Edition rules will be available for people to play.  Besides, no one says that anyone has to play with any set of rules in particular, including the published ones: that’s the brilliance of Dungeons and Dragons!  But, add another layer of Dungeons and Dragons rules that allow “newbies” to get right into the throw of the game, and you have what almost amounts to a separate product aimed at assimilating more mainstream consumer base into your brand name.

People will have their preferences in game, Third Edition, Fourth Edition, or hell, I know some folks still playing Advanced D&D Second Edition.  But, it is still a common standpoint in which we can talk about the adventures we have had, because the emotions and actions span across the gaps of edition rules: only game mechanics change in each edition.  It should put us on a common plane.  And, as businessmen, put us in the line to make a lot of money from each subset of player, by providing the supplies for them no matter what their preferences are, supportively and with great passion for serving our customers.

So, assuming that you are in the hobby business to make money, the following circumstance is of importance to you.

One of my colleagues had the misfortune to be a customer in your shop at the time a certain Clerk was working there.  This colleague of mine is a newcomer to Dungeons and Dragons, and, instead of making purchases online, it was decided to bring her to an actual location so she could have a hands-on choice of the different items she was looking for.  She was extremely excited, and was prepared to drop a good chunk of change on pretty much anything that looked cool.

Her first mission was locating a miniature that matched her character: a female dwarven cleric.  She spent a good amount of time looking through your selection before admitting defeat and deciding to ask the assistance of one of the clerks employed there.

She went up to the Clerk and asked specifically for any female dwarves at all that she could choose from.  His response?  That you don’t carry them because no one plays them.

Now, this could very well be true.  Supply and demand rule over the stock a company holds, and that’s very understandable.

However, only an Idiot would tell a potentially paying customer that no one bothers to assist someone looking for just that item.

Add that assault on the way she games to the fact she is a new gamer getting her first experience dealing with other people in the hobby world, and you have just lost a customer.

Fortunately for you and Idiot Clerk, my colleague had her friends in the store with her who knew a bit more about finding miniatures than her.  Turns out, there is a catalogue of items that she can peruse and locate particular items.  It is a great system so that businessmen such as you and I do not lose out on customers like this.  With the desire being to help every customer we can, even if we don’t have it, we can get it.

So Idiot Clerk has a second chance of making a profit off this new gamer.  If he does it correctly, you might be able to cash in on her willingness to drop money on this new hobby of hers.  We just need to work past the original mistake and show her we mean to serve our customers.

Unfortunately, Idiot Clerk lives up to his name and plops the catalogue into her hands and walks away.

Only an Ungrateful person would throw a chance to sell product in the face of a customer who was just previously offended by you yourself.  Perhaps he Assumed that she already knew what to do with it?

Upset with Assumptive Ungrateful Idiot Clerk, my colleague, who has no idea what to do with this catalogue, decides that she isn’t worth this place’s time, and tells her friends that she’s had enough.

Leaving the store, Assumptive Ungrateful Idiot Clerk decides to follow my colleague and her friends outside, and, lighting a cigarette, proceeds to question them on their opinions of Fourth Edition rule style.

Appalled that this man was so Clueless as to not realize he had treated a potential customer with such short shrift as to lose business for his employer, and then not see it strange to follow them outside to strike up a conversation, they answered that their reactions were mixed to the new version, that it had its pros and cons.

Clueless Assumptive Ungrateful Idiot Clerk proceeded to let them know how much he hated it, listing reasons, and giving alternatives of games that were much better.

Then it all became clear: he feels the need to actively Discriminate against players using the Fourth Edition.  He feels it necessary to air his opinions about how horrible the newest incarnation of Dungeons and Dragons is to anyone who will listen, regardless of the decisions of Wizards to create the game as such, or of his employer to carry and cater to those who play the new edition, and to make sure they know, leaving that store, that they are not welcome.

My colleagues let Discriminatory Clueless Assumptive Ungrateful Idiot Clerk know that they were using Fourth Edition at this very time, and that there were new players playing who were finding it easy to get into.  While my colleagues and I differ in opinion on the preference in Third vs. Fourth edition, we tend to agree that Fourth Edition is best for new gamers.  You and I, as businessmen, know that any product that can get closer to mainstream is a great source of revenue.

Discriminatory Clueless Assumptive Ungrateful Idiot Clerk scoffed and rolled his eyes at their opinions.  So, not only does he need everyone to hear his one-sided opinions, he is Disrespectful towards anyone else’s, refusing even to listen to what reasons someone may have.

Let’s review.

You have a shop that exists to cater to the hobbyists of your area.  You provide items and resources and supplies to those who desire them.  The reason for the desire is a moot point: you, as any good hobby store, want to be known as the “place to go” for these types of supplies.  You don’t care if I am buying miniatures to feed to my dog; you’ll smile encouragingly and ask me “Debit or Credit?”  You desire to make a revenue stream that is profitable by encouraging customers to return to your store for further supplies, carrying a wide range of items so that no matter what their desires are, you have it.  And if you still don’t have it, you can get it.

Most of all, you know hobbies.  You encourage the gaming, you support the sport that is role-playing.  You know that it is the fun time had by all that makes the brilliance of Dungeons and Dragons.  You know that it does not matter what set of rules you play, or whether you stick to any rules you choose, so long as everyone enjoys it.  It is a Hobby.  You are a Hobby Shop.

And, I just wanted to bring to your attention that you have a Bigoted, Disrespectful, Discriminatory, Clueless, Assumptive, Ungrateful, Idiot Clerk who works for you, who makes people feel uncomfortable to be in the store, who makes people feel ashamed at their choice of hobby, who makes people feel harried that their choices are not the same as the ones they would make.  He does not support the sport, he does not support the gaming choices of the customers.  He is not interested in your revenue, he is not interested in the success of the business.

I write articles across the internet.  I have friends who podcast weekly, and write comic strips that are seen across the world.  I have ties with other stores that are the epitome of hobbying and all it stands for.  I participate in social sites that share with others what places ARE the places to go.

And until the above Clerk is relieved from his duties and replaced with someone who knows more about what gaming is TRULY about, I intend to make sure those I care for do not have to ever go through the same treatment my colleagues did by informing them of the situation, and letting them know your establishment is NOT the place to go.

But first, some back-story.

      When I started DMing, I was much more comfortable leaving the gods out of it, so to speak.  They were entities that were prayed to, that were worshipped, but we never really saw any action from (with the exception of the divine spellcasters, of course).  I had trouble understanding the true role that deities played.  It always made little sense to me how we could have all these gods that never seemed to interact with their followers, and for what reasons exactly did they grant their power to their clerics?  Why don’t we see epic clashes of good versus evil on a cataclysmic scale on a daily basis?  I had left them that way for a very long time, until one day a friend of mine was discussing with me an encounter he had participated in where a player challenged a deity to battle.

      I was floored, but the DM went with it, and set up an encounter.  He placed his “god” at the end of a long, straight path, and announced to the party that said god had a single hit point.  He had the party arranged at the other end of the path and roll initiative.  The god had a larger initiative bonus, and summoned fifteen ancient black dragons simultaneously between himself and the party.  Next round, fifteen more dragons were summoned.  At the end, the god revived them and sent them on their way, with pretty much a “Don’t fuck with me, children.”

      While it was an effective method in demonstrating that gods were that much more powerful, I thought it cheap to make a farce of the characters like that (though, the characters DID ask for it).  I wondered how the absence of gods from the game might affect how players work.

      I went about trying to creating a world where there were no gods at all.  Other games do it, but in D&D there is a mechanic of having the different type of spellcasters.  My problem lay in the fact that divine spellcasters are under special rules because their powers are granted to them by deities, such as not having the armor check.  I was forced to keep coming up with reasons why they were able to get their power so easily when there were no gods to receive their power from.  After much tweaking, I ended up with some kind of cross between an arcane Sorcerer and a Cleric, just another Sorcerer with different spells and no armor requirements.  It was not balanced, and way too much work to upkeep throughout a campaign.

      For D&D to work, I decided, you need at least ONE god.  Why not go with that?  I decided a single Creator would make a lot more sense, and would be that much more powerful, awe-inspiring, since there were no other entities like him.  Then there would still be a “someone” to get spellcasters’ powers from, and would keep the distinction between arcane and divine spellcasters.

      This actually worked for a short time, before we ran into a serious problem: this logically eliminated evil clerics.  I never really thought of a “neutral” single god, where he would grant power to just about anyone and let anybody do what they wanted with it.  Part of the D&D environment was the motivation of a character to do their deity’s bidding, and to have greater power the more their actions seem to “coincide” with that of their patron (the paladins are the greatest example of this, with the greatest penalty for going against it).  If my single god were to have interests for them to follow, they could not be both good and evil.  That made no sense.

      Back to the drawing board.  My mind went back to that encounter, where other than the super-godly abilities, the god followed the same rules and game mechanics that the players themselves used.  The DM (although tauntingly) announced that the god had a single hit point.  What if a clever player managed to come up with some feat or chain of events that surprised even the DM and managed to deplete that one hit point?  Could the god *really* be killed?  Was it no different than the player, in the end?

      That is when it hit me.  What if they were?  In the third edition rules, a 20^th level monk gained the Outsider status, where they were no longer of this plane.  What if he kept going?  What happened at 40^thlevel?  At 60^th?

      I imagined a world where there was a single god.  This god created everything, and created a number of magical sources that I call magic engines.  In the beginning, all creatures could freely draw and use the different engines.  Peace reigned, and love flourished.

      Before too long, the different races began to find evil uses for magic.  The world descended into chaos.  The spellcasters began to learn to defend themselves with magic, and eventually, how to seal off access to the magic engines.  Different mortals laid claim to the engines, until the twelve strongest in the land became the sole owners of the world’s magic.  Those who linked directly with the magic engine gained special powers, such as stop aging, which prevents the user from dying from age, and unlimited scry, providing them the ability to see what was going on anywhere in the world.  They also receiveengine rest, allowing them to replenish their daily spells with only a short rest, and are immune to critical hits.  Reaching a kind of cosmic stalemate, unwilling to lose the power of the magic engines to their opponents, they separated themselves from the world, and fought their battles through others, granting them power through themselves, waiting for the opportune moments to strike…

Millennia go by.

      Arcane magic became popular, as people turned to other ways to cast spells.  Fact gives way to rumor, and rumor to legend, until the Twelve are looked upon as gods.  They grant their power to those who would follow their teachings, and fulfill their agendas.

      This is the setting my players begin play in.  The “deities” they worship are simple characters that I level to level 65, following the standard D&D progression rules.  They gain the abilities listed above for being linked with the sources of divine magic.  They are nigh-unstoppable… but not impossible to defeat.

      The players start the game with the assumption that their gods are full-fledged deities.  They still worship them and treat them no different than the D&D manuals provide.  Depending on the setup of the campaign, they may never deal with the Twelve directly, and therefore my little back-story is irrelevant, but there have been a couple of campaigns where someone questioned the authority of the gods, learned the truth, and decided to quest to take one down.  No one has yet to do so, but they are not impossible to kill.

      What makes it really fun in this manner is that the gods are approachable creatures that you can interact with and they have emotions and feelings like anyone else.  They can be happy at what you do, or be completely pissed off.  May the gods help you if you make a personal enemy out of one the Twelve.  Literally. As in, you better go ask them for help.

Squint and his deckhands stayed aboard their riverboat Fortune, mooring to the rickety construction that barely had earned the word “dock.”  The adventurers stomped down the wooden planks and entered the town.

It did not take long for the party members to catch wind of the rumors that were floating around town: first, an eerie ship had passed the dock, heading downriver during the night.  The moon was hidden with thick clouds last night, and the boatwatchers at the dock had tried to wave them down for a safe pull-in to the bank, but the ship continued its journey.  A lone woman on deck, dressed in a white that shined despite the lack of any light save the small lanterns adorning the ship, stared blankly as she passed by.

Second, the villagers were searching the forest for a number of sick individuals who dug up the small village’s graveyard.  Ten graves had been dug up and violated by thieves who stole all of the bodies within.  Investigation by the small village’s mayor seemed to reveal the involvement of multiple people in the process: mainly due to the fact it was simply too much work to be done by a single person.

As they took the only two rooms at the inn, the women and men of the travelling party discussed the situation before sleeping for the night.

A’ine twisted her hands around her holy symbol and frowned.  “It is obvious the Witchfire has passed here.  Its simple presence was enough to animate this poor place’s deceased.”  She sighed at the idea.  “Even the dead are innocent victims, unable to sleep.”

“Are we going to help them?” Arya asked, leaning on her staff.

Tiberius growled quietly, slamming his sword back into its sheathe.  He never spoke often, but it was obvious he thought it a bad idea, and said as much.  “We’re exhausted as it is, and we know the culprit is headed downriver.  We sleep, and then follow.”

Charmer secured the small changepurse on his side and deftly leapt up to the ceiling.  Dangling from the wooden rafters by his legs, he said, “We should all get started on that sleep then, yes?”

————————————————

“What?” I asked, blinking.

“I said, I’m gonna hang from the ceiling and trance.”  Jacob replied.

My mouth worked in confusion, trying to find the right words to answer.  I looked to Ken and Edna, seated across the table from me, but Edna was staring at Jacob in confused shock, while Ken was trying to keep from laughing.  Jo, to my right, just put her head in her hands.

Looking back at Jacob, I shook my head.  “You’re not a bat, dumbass.”

The rest of the players rolled in laughter.

Jacob flashed that goofy grin he always has.  “Oh, come on, why can’t I trance up there?  You said I still have full awareness of my surroundings during trance, so why can’t I?”

I sighed, placing the Monster’s Manual aside.  “Because you can’t do anything strenuous.  Hanging on to the roof by your legs for dear life qualifies as strenuous, ergo you cannot trance hanging upside down from the ceiling.”

“That’s a stupid rule.” Jacob said.

I shook my head.  “Fine.”  I picked up and tossed a d20 over to him.  “First, make an Athletics check.”

“Wouldn’t it be Acrobatics if I’m hanging from the rafters?”

“First we need to see if you can even jump that high.”

Jacob nodded agreement and stood up, rolling the die around in his hand.  Then, twirling his hand back and then forward, he cast the die out towards the table.

I did not even wait for the die to hit the surface.  “You fail, falling on your ass, and you take a point of damage from a loose nail in the floorboards.  Let’s move on.”

The party laughed as the die struck the table and rolled to a stop.

“I guess we’re all going to go into our respective rooms and trance,” Edna said.  “I’m out of healing spells anyways.”

“Dude, I rolled a 20.”  Jacob interjected, showing me the die he had rolled.

I waved him off, ignoring him.  “So, you’re ALL going to trance?”

The party froze and looked at each other.  Whoops, didn’t mean to give THAT one away.

Ken spoke first.  “No, no, we should have someone up keeping watch.”

I just shrugged, a smirk on my face.

Edna rose her hand.  “I should be able to keep watch while trancing, right?  I mean, I’m aware of my surroundings, and I just need to make sure I raise an alarm if something happens, so that’s fine, right?”

Thinking about it, I decided having a single person outside the inn alone was a fun idea.  “Sounds good to me.”

Jo nodded agreement.  “Okay, A’ine will be outside then, and my Arya will go trance.”

“Wait, wait,” Jacob said, waving his hands.

“What?”

“Do I see the innkeepers money-chest?”

I shook my head.  “No.”

“Don’t I get a Percepti—“

“No.”

Jacob grumbled inaudibly.

I patted my friend on his shoulder.  “Alright, great.  So, the rogue is going to sleep, and A’ine, you’re outside keeping watch, right?”

“Yeah,” Edna said, cautiously.

“Get ready for a small Perception challenge,” I said, starting to draw the surroundings onto the leather grid we used.

“Shit,” all four players said simultaneously.

————————————————

A’ine leaned back against the door to the small house dubbed “the inn” by the villagers.  The sun had been swallowed up quickly, and was not replaced by any source of light in the thickly clouded sky.  She had completed her trance, but decided to let the others get some additional rest before going in to switch shifts for the night.  She shivered slightly, closing her arms around herself, but it was far from chilly in the darkness.

Then, the wind stilled, and for a moment, A’ine thought she heard a shuffling noise in the distance.  She turned her head, peering into the darkness.  She listened intently, but heard nothing more, then settled back, thinking it her imagination.

The relief did not last long, another sound, like a boot on coarse sand, sprung to her ears.  She leapt up, holding her symbol in both hands, eyes darting in all directions.  She looked as far into the darkness as her fey eyes could see, and yet, nothing came.

Cursing herself for jumping at shadows, she sighed and dropped back to the ground.

The skeleton lowered its skull and grunted, “Boo.”

————————————————

“How can I miss three Perception checks in a row?!” Edna cried, flopping back onto the couch.

Ken laughed, and pointed at her.  “He said ‘Boo.’”

“Hey, the skeleton was able to walk all the way up to the eladrin.  It just had to say Boo.”

“Wouldn’t I see the skeleton walking up to me?”

I looked at the die, still showing the natural 1 Edna had rolled last.  “I don’t think so.  At this point, you can’t even perceive the ground you’re standing on.”

“Yeah,” Ken laughed, “the only thing you were able to find was your arm.”

————————————————

A’ine sounded the alarm, and in short order, the rest of the party rushed outside to find themselves surrounded by nine skeletons, all swiping with their sharp, bony fingers.

“Be careful,” Tiberius called, wielding his precious blade.  “They said there were ten graves.  I only count nine skullheads here.”

Two *tchunks* sounded, and one of the skeletons shrieked, falling to the ground.

Charmer was just putting his arm down from throwing two of his small daggers.  “Eight!”

A roar sounded in the distance, and the darkness seemed to press back at the party as a blast of black energy settled onto the downed skeleton.  Moving again, the creature reached up and plucked the two daggers out of its head and tossed them aside, standing up.

“Negative energy!” A’ine called.  “Nine, plus one further back, healing them!”

“Break through!” Tiberius yelled, and leapt forward, electricity pealing from his blade into the three undead ahead of him.

Arya and A’ine followed suit, pillars of light and fire descending onto their enemies simultaneously.

Charmer leapt forward, slashing with his shortblade, but as it struck bone, black sparks flew and repelled his steel.  The skeleton stood up straight and laughed at him ominously.  He struck a second time, and again, a mysterious force pushed his metal away.  Whatever negative energy had done, he could no longer harm them with regular weapons.  So, Charmer did what any self-serving rogue would do in his situation.

He squealed the high-pitched squeal of a frightened child and darted in the opposite direction.  “Uuuuse maaagiiccc!” he wailed, diving back into the inn and locking the door.

————————————————

“Seriously?” Edna asked, laughing.

“Look, I’m not sticking around to get skewered.  It’s best I don’t get in the way of magic-only monsters.”

Ken put a finger into his palm.  “You could still run interference, Jacob.”

“Pfft, fuck that.”

Ken shook his head and returned his attention to me.  “How high are the ore shacks?”

“Roughly 20 feet.”

“Can I Fey Step to the top of them?”

“I don’t see why not.”

Edna and Jo lit up, each raising their hands.  “We do too!”

————————————————

Lightning struck, fire blazed, and holy light rained down upon the helpless skeletons as the three eladrin showered their arts from the top of the ore shacks.  It was in no time at all before there were none left save the skeleton mage.  Tiberius swung his sword over his head, and created a long arc of electricity that lashed out and grasped the undead, and dragged him almost to the top of the shack.

“Oops,” Tiberius laughed, releasing the electricity, dropping him from the top of the building to the stone below.  It shattered into pieces.

————————————————

“What’s that skill called again?” I asked.

“Lightning Lure.” Ken replied.

“And it does damage AND pulls him towards you?”

“That’s what it says.”

I reviewed the Swordmage skill sheet.  “It also says that it has to be pulled into an unoccupied square adjacent to you.”

“It was adjacent.  Not my fault that the square adjacent to me had 4 other unoccupied squares directly beneath it.”

I shrugged.  It made sense.  “Alright, I’ll allow it.  XP all around.”

“Except for Jacob,” Ken said.

“WHAT?!” Jacob frowned.  “I stayed true to character.”

“Dude, your character is a dick.”  Ken argued.

Jacob crossed his arms.  “Yeah well, mine stayed inside where he belongs.”

Ken grinned.  “That’s what she said.”

Charmer and Tiberius took it upon themselves to climb into one of the Fortune’s dinghies and row to the northern bank.  The self-proclaimed expert rogue carefully inspected the area for any traps laid by Alexia or her lunkies, but nothing was found.  Tiberius, however, found one that Charmer overlooked while opening the door.  Fortunately, Charmer had a potion to counteract the poison, so they ventured in.

The inside of the tower was covered in guano.  Looking up, razorbats were perched on the ceiling.  Tiberius and Charmer had to move quickly to fight them off.

Meanwhile, back on the Fortune, Arya and A’ine studied the southern tower from afar.  That was when Arya noticed that there was something at the bottom of the gate, under the water.  Neither she nor A’ine could make it out, so they took the other dinghy and rowed out to the gate.

Tiberius and Charmer, having finished the razorbat infestation, climbed to the tower’s second floor, and together began turning the huge turnstile that operated the gate.  The first few attempts failed as the gate resisted being drawn in.  But then, with a huge klunk heard in the distance, the gate suddenly rushed closed.

Arya and A’ine, studying the gate, came to the realization that a chain was holding the gate together under the water.  They could only watch as the northern half of the gate was attempted to be retracted, straining the chain underwater.

The klunk was the chain snapping as Tiberius and Charmer put enough weight on the turnstile to pull in the gate.  The chain and padlock snapped, sending metal in all directions, several shards of which penetrated through the dinghy that Arya and A’ine were on!  The dinghy barely lasted at all, leaving the girls clinging to the gate in the middle of the river!

A’ine, having been trained as an acrobat, easily sauntered up the gate, and balanced across it to the southern bank.

Tiberius, curious of the contents of something hanging from where the razorbats had hung, grasped the mossy sphere from where it hanged.  Immediately, tens of tiny baby razorbats clawed their way into his arm!  He threw the nest to the ground, beating off the bats, and the two of them exited the tower.

But not before Charmer set it on fire.

The two of them walked back into the open daylight with an explosion at their backs.  "Charmer did it."  Tiberius openly proclaimed.

Oddly enough, as they gazed out at the half-open gate drawn in by one tower, Arya was in the middle of the river, hanging from the gate pole, waving frantically!  A’ine was walking across the top of the gate, heading to the southern bank.  The two men blinked, and looked at each other curiously, before running down to their dinghy and rowing across.

Between ferrying Arya across and A’ine’s gatewalking, the party reassembled on the southern riverbank.  One of the gates had been opened, the other still remained.  Entering the southern tower quietly, Charmer and Tiberius were particularly wary.  They did not want a repeat of the other tower.  But, the four of them found nothing.  A large empty room.

They did hear scuffling from the top room.

Charmer volunteered to climb the iron rungs at the back of the room, and quietly poked his head into the second floor.

With a gut-wrenching kthunk, Charmer’s body hit the ground.  He had been viciously attacked with a large blade, and he lay unmoving.  Arya and A’ine rushed to his aid.  Tiberius, now aware of the threat above, closed his eyes, and feystepped into the room above, gaining the split-second of surprise he needed to engage his foes.  He defended the entrance to the second floor for the time it took for A’ine to treat Charmer’s wound, magically repairing it as if it had never been.

It had turned out that Alexia had left a small surprise, a couple of undead guards, to attack anyone who tried to come near the gatecrank.  The party, once Charmer was on his feet again, joined Tiberius on the second floor, and together made quick work of her Risen spawn. 

Charmer and Tiberius easily opened the other gate, and the path was clear for the Fortune to pass.  Before they left, Tiberius bent to pick up the blade one of the Risen had been using.  It had gleamed with a red luminescence.  He took it for himself.

The blade shed its light quietly.

=================================================

OUTTAKES

1. Dan:  “I bet she levelled you up last night.”
   Ken:  “Or rather, early this morning.”
   Dan:  “Well, which was it?”
   Edna: “I did not get a timestamp for you.”
2. Dan, cleaning off the dry erase tokens with a not-so-wet paper cloth:
   “I’m gonna need another wet one!”
3. Ken returns from kitchen, chewing on a sausage link.
   Edna, surprised: “What are you doing?”
   Ken, confused: “Eating my sausage.”
   Everyone: *Awkward silence*
4. Dan, after saying no a thousand times to Jacob’s incessant questions:
   "There has got to be a way to mute you.”
5. Edna, after Jacob dropped his sword:
   "I am holding onto my sword REALLY hard!”

Rounding out the pish-posh collection of would-be heroes is the stowaway, Leto.  While technically a stowaway, Leto has essentially become part of the crew, due to Squint’s reluctance to toss the boy back to the streets.  Leto says he doesn’t get paid because he is a stowaway, but it is still a good life because he gets fed, clothed, and housed by the men on the boat.  Anouar said once he looks at the boy like a mascot.

During the first day of travel, Alexia sent the party a clear warning.  Knowing she would be followed, she set up a trap for passing boats.  When the Fortune tripped the trap, a number of undead were immediately summoned to the boat’s deck.  The party, together with the Fortune’s crew, fought the creatures off tooth and nail.  The danger so early reminded the adventurers that they were in for no easy picnic.  Knowing they had no choice but to protect the land, they plodded on.

The evening of the first day brought them to the final outpost along the Black River, to the small mining village of Krim.  A nearby mine uses Krim as it’s transfer point, loading their metal onto the occasional passing merchant’s boat to be brought to Corvis for use in the iron foundries.

The villagers of Krim reported that a boat had passed in the early night, but refused to stop, despite the horrible sight the  forest surrounding the Black River gave to navigation in a moonless night.  They had recognized on board what looked to be a very young woman dressed in bright white.  Seemingly unrelated, the villagers also reported their cemetery and all ten of its graves having been dug up the night before.

As the adventurers rested, the village came under attack by the same skeletons that had been “robbed” in the night!  It turns out that the close proximity of the dead to the Witchfire caused them to move on their own!  They were easily dispatched, thanks to the heroes, who had decided to spend the night in the small village’s inn, instead of on the boat with Squint and his crew, but not before Anouar had been charmed by Alexia, and forced to attack the party.  Quick thinking by the party nullified Alexia’s hold, and the party set about reburying the dead properly.

At first light, a tired party set off again towards the temple of Cyriss.

The morning was relatively quiet, allowing for the party to trance safely, and rest from their tired night.  But later, before noon time, Squint started calling for an emergency stop!  Killian and Anouar put their all into stopping the Fortune, and narrowly missed a huge collision with a large tree that had been cut and toppled across the expanse of the river!  They still nicked it, however, and the crew went downstairs to check on the hull’s damage.

Before too long, a thick fog rolled in, and a group of swamp gobbers raided the Fortune!  Well, they attempted.  Charmer’s lightning speed and skill with the crossbow kept any of the gobbers from the east bank of the river from approaching.  Tiberius manned the west bank, and despite A’ine’s best attempts, Leto fought hand to hand with the gobbers as well.  A number of gobber wizards attacked during the chaos, but A’ine and Arya deftly kept them minimized while the fighters did their work.

And in the end, they captured the gobber’s fog-making machine!  Not bad for a day’s work!

=================================================

OUTTAKES

1. The scenario with the fallen tree was drawn out and presented to the players.
   Ken:  “I have a question,” and begins to point to the map.
   Johanna and Dan simultaneously:  “It’s a tree!”
   
2. Jacob to Edna after Dan used his dice by mistake:  “Hey, can you touch these for me?”
   (Jacob is rather superstitious about his dice.)
3. Dan to Jacob, in response to a question of why the DM didn’t do a certain thing or other: 
   “Because I’m not an asshole, asshole.”
   
4. Dan: “Nuklifying – a mixture of nuking and liquefying.”
   
5. Jacob, referring to the newly captured fog machine:  “Johanna has the fog balls for it.”
   Dan:  “Which is more balls than you.”
6. Edna, still deciding what action to take on her turn:  “I’ll do…”
   Jacob:  “My Grandma?”  (He hadn’t been paying much attention, and started to talk about something unrelated.”
7. Dan, noticing that for the first time, Edna scored the highest initiative roll:  “Wow, for the first time, Edna’s on top!”
   Ken:  “Wouldn’t be the first time she’s on top.”
   
8. Jacob:  “Alright, then I’m gonna hang from the ceiling and trance.”
   *silence*
   Dan: “You’re not a bat, dumbass.”

At the end of the Battle of Longest Night, Alexia left the city with the Witchfire, and her mother’s body.  The heroes of that night had determined that her plan was to resurrect her mother, murdered ten years prior, but no one had heard from her since.  Certain that Alexia had no way to resurrect her herself without turning her into an undead monster, Dumas’ priests have kept their ears open for word of their travels.

Two of the Heroes of Longest Night stayed in Corvis, taking side jobs while assisting in the search for Alexia.  Charmer, an elvish rogue, never liked being too far away from the city and its money anyhow.  Arya, an eladrin witch, was more interested in the search for Alexia, but after the complete lack of clues, tended to stick with her companion Charmer, more often than not to keep him out of trouble.

One day, Father Dumas petitioned the two Heroes to guard a caravan of artifacts being shipped up for his analysis.  Apparently, a number of items previously thought to be nothing more than mere trinkets had started emitting a form of negative energy.  Dumas was going to look over them and see what he could find out.

The Heroes met new companions that were also brought on to assist by Dumas: a pair of eladrin.  A’ine is a cleric who is venturing out from the Fey realms for the first time.  Tiberius stands at her side, forsaking everything for increasing the power of his blade magic.  Together, the four of them sucessfully defended the caravan from a raiding party of goblins, and delivered the shipment to Dumas.

Dumas studied the artifacts, and came to a startling conclusion: they had the same energy as the Witchfire itself!  Tracing the location of the artifacts, it made a clear line up the river.  It was obvious: the Witchfire was on the move.

Other information came to surface:  The direction she was going was into the infested gatormen lands.  The last human settlements in that area were destroyed some years ago.  There was nothing to be found.

But, rumors of a temple to the false god Cyriss floated in the intellectual community.  The stories said that great machines powered by the gods performed miracles on certain days of the year.  One of the miracles was the resurrection of the dead as if they had never perished.  Even if the machines existed, the amount of energy necessary to power them would be no small matter.

But the Witchfire, it had that kind of power.

The possible consequences were too dire.  The Witchfire drawing and using that much dark magic combined with the power of the alleged resurrection machine, would form voids across the planes of existence, destroying several of them in the process.

So, the new party of heroes called on the services of steamboat Fortune, and started to travel upstream, hoping they were not too far behind…

We’re starting on book two, since two of the players played the first one with me before.  Ogrecave.com says about the first book:

The adventure starts with the players getting sucked into the investigation of a series of grave robberies and eventually discovering a plot for revenge relating to nasty events of a decade earlier. The plot is nicely layered, with villains manipulating villains and NPCs driven by complex motivations. Most of these details will not be revealed until later in the trilogy, but it is clear from the start that players experiencing these adventures will be treated to some genuinely interesting twists and turns.

In the first novel, the players investigated grave robberies, and found a local girl, Alexia, angry over the killing of her mother by an evil wizard years ago.  The evil wizard had a sword called “Witchfire,” which allowed its possessor to absorb the power of slain victims, and exert complete dominance over undead in the area.

After following her long enough, the players learned that Alexia had learned necromatic magic, a crude, self-taught method of it.  The players traveled to an abandoned fort north of the city and found her raising an undead army.  By blowing up a number of bridges, they slowed the army down, which advanced onto the main city of Corvis.  The players administered the defenses and protected the city for as long as possible, but in the end, the undead breached the city and plagued the streets.

A final showdown occurred at a local church, where the undead could pass due to the seeping power of the Witchfire which had been sealed away on its grounds.  In the end, Alexia offered to disperse the undead in exchange for the Witchfire.

In a climactic moment, with the undead awaiting the players’ choice to give up the Witchfire, the evil wizard himself showed up.  He had been shadowing the players, and had even sent a number of his own men at them (though that had not been known at the time—the tattoo on his eye matches the emblems they found on their attackers.)

The players erred on the side of the townspeople, and gave up the Witchfire to Alexia, who stayed true to her word and let the undead fall to the ground.  The evil wizard growled and disappeared…

I will continue the story of what has happened so far… and introduce the new players…