I Don’t Want to Kill

In response to “The Protestor” by Sharon Olds

What would I do, if I were asked to kill?
Would I do it, or would I hold back still?
My dad was a man who served his country
But he never had to kill anyone.
That I know of.
I should ask him that.
Would I be so brave as to say, “Take me to jail?”
Would my efforts succeed, or would they fail?
I am so two-sided, claiming that I’d never kill.
Don’t I cheer when the murderer dies?
Don’t I support military action?
Do I say “we should kill, but don’t make me do it?”
Don’t we need people like me around
Even during war, to educate the town?
Or is that the “woman’s” job?
The draft only called men.
Was that the right thing to do?
Is it fair to ask that I get left behind too?
All these thoughts of what I should and shouldn’t do.
I say I’d never kill. I would never kill.
But if you try to hurt me, or my kin.
I’ll kill you. I’ll kill you. I swear I’ll kill you.
I’d rather you’d be dead than me.